


Losing Sleep.

by forsty_and_niryda



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: A lot of comforting, Angst, Anne is a good girlfriend, Barnum is basically a dad, But mostly fluff at the end, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Lettie has the best blankets, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Phillip REALLY needs a hug, Romantic Fluff, Slightly graphic description of being burned alive, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-10 23:32:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13512054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forsty_and_niryda/pseuds/forsty_and_niryda
Summary: It's been months since the fire, and even if the circus is all together again Phillip still can't let the horrors of that night go.----Phillip has a night terror and needs a lot of comfort.





	Losing Sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic written out of a roleplay between Niryda and Forsty!  
> Art is by very talented Forsty!  
> Enjoy!!

Phillip saw her standing there in the middle of the ring. She was dressed in her rehearsal outfit and her long hair was draped over her shoulders. Anne’s gaze found his and her face lit up in a soft smile. Phillip could feel the unknown tension bleed out and he ached to get closer to her. As he stepped from the shadows and into the ring a piercing shriek echoed through the tent. He froze up as the shriek finally ended and looked around in the tent from where he was standing. There was no mistake, the scream had belonged to a child. His eyes sought out Anne and to his surprise she was still standing with a smile on her face as if the scream had never happened.  
  
He watched her as voices in the distance started to yell, more screams and shouts built up but it all felt as if he were in a bubble, it was all so muffled and sounded like miles away. All but one voice. It was like someone burst the bubble as the man’s voice yelled what sent needles of fear through his entire body.  
  
_“FIRE!”_  
  
Phillip could feel his heart leap as he searched the tent with his eyes, but there was no flames to be seen. As he gazed back to Anne’s spot a new wave of fear and panic washed over him. She was _gone._ He stepped further out in the ring, looking everywhere trying to locate her. But she was nowhere to be seen.  
  
“Anne?!” he called out, hoping she would hear and respond to him.  
  
“Phillip!” A voice from nowhere called out, as if it were a ghost who had answered him.  
  
In the blink of an eye it was all set ablaze. The fire roared as it tore through the cloth of the circus. It had him surrounded as it grew closer to him. He felt the familiar burn crawl up his back, searing into his skin and flesh. Phillip panicked as he tried to pat out the flames from his clothing, but his arms and hand were burning too. It felt as if his lungs were burning up form the inside and he gasped for breath as the pain took over him.  
  
“Phillip!” Anne’s scream sounded through the fire and through the flames he could see her. He felt his stomach turn as the fire had surrounded her. She was burning. They were all burning. He could see Lettie, Barnum, Caroline and Helen, Constantine and even W.D. His whole family was burning, screaming in agony and there was nothing he could do. It was as if the fire had him shackled down, burning its way into his flesh and bones. Form the inside and out. The smoke choked him and he was forced to his knees as he desperately gasped for breath. He couldn’t help any of the people he loved, he’d never felt so helpless as he watched his entire world burn, again.

\------

The day had been long and surprisingly tiresome. The circus had been closed for the evening in favor for a rehearsal of a new act. Even Barnum had been asked to show up to help, and of course Helen and Caroline came along for moral support. After all, you could take the man out of the circus but not the circus out of the man. Or at least that’s what Charity said before she shushed her husband and daughters away to the circus, not minding one bit.  
  
An hour had went by when Barnum started noticing something was missing. A lack of encouraging ‘woop’s and enthusiastic clapping every time Anne did anything. The old ringmaster looked around the tent, trying to spot his friend but he was nowhere to be find. It all puzzled Barnum, after all it was Phillip who had asked for both the extra rehearsal and if Barnum would like to join. So for the young man to vanish like this was enough to cause some worry for Barnum.  
  
“Lettie, did you by chance see where Phillip went?” he asked the cheerful woman. Barnum watched as she got a slightly puzzled look and her eyes went around the circus, trying to spot Phillip. But just like Barnum had discovered before her, the man was still gone.  
  
“I think he said something about checking on the props, but that’s quite a while ago?” she answered as her attention went back to Barnum. “Why? Is something wrong?” Lettie frowned now giving the entrance to the backstage a look as if she expected Phillip to walk out of there.  
  
“No, no! I’m sure everything is fine. He probably just got stuck in a hula-hoop and some costumes. I’ll have a look after him,” Barnum reassured his friend, giving her a smile before heading towards the backstage.  
  
“Phillip, you back here?” Barnum called out but as expected he got no responds. “I think you should come and see this! Anne is about to do something spectacular!” He teased, knowing how fond the two were of each other and how Phillip would never miss out a chance to praise his girlfriends act. But it was still quiet. Only the faint laugh and conversations could be heard from the circus ring. Barnum walked further into the prop-era of the backstage, getting ready to climb some of them in case Phillip actually was stuck. But before he got so far the sound of a quiet whimper caught his attention and he turned around.  
  
“Phillip, is that you?” he asked. Another whimper coming from a rack of old costumes made Barnum grow an unsettling feeling in his gut.  
  
He pushed aside some of the clothing only to reveal Phillip laying behind it, curled up on some old pillows and costumes. His bright red coat was pulled tight around him as a blanket and the newly made ringmaster was in fact dead asleep. The sight could be considered as very adorable and it brought a smile to Barnum’s face. And the thought of having Anne sharing this adorable sight even made him chuckle. But as he were to turn around and call for her another whimper followed up by a gasp came from Phillip. Barnum watched as his successor grew a deep frown and small twitches and jerks started to go through his body, as if he were in pain.  
  
“Hey, Phillip. I think it’s time to wake up,” Barnum crouched next to the man, nudging his shoulder trying to wake him up. He hoped it would calm Phillip down, bring him out of the seeming nightmare. But instead it somehow made it worse, as if Barnum had pushed Phillip further into the dream. The younger man started to twist and move more frantically making Barnum’s heart start to beat harder in his chest with worry and fear.  
  
“Phillip! Come on, son,” Barnum tried again to call out to the man, reach him in his subconscious state. But there was no use as Phillip seemed more and more tortured. The man soon started to gasp for breath as if he were choking and his body twisted and arched as if something was branded into his skin. The whimpers grew into incomprehensible talk as the poor ringmaster seemed to be in a fight for his life.  
  
Barnum could faintly hear a voice coming from behind him followed by a shocked gasp, but he didn’t pay it much attention. Phillip started to attempt to fight Barnum off as the older man took a tight grip around the other man’s arm, keeping him from hurting himself. Shouts of fear, panic and pain left Phillip by now and Barnum could only watch his friend being tormented by the hellish nightmare.  
  
“PHILLIP!” Barnum was the one to shout now and tried to shake the man to consciousness once more. His heart broke over and over with the display of his crying and tortured friend, not able to bring him out of the nightterror.  
  
“Move!” Lettie’s voice was clear behind Barnum and he glanced over his shoulder at her, ready to tell her no if it wasn’t for the bucket of water she was holding. The old ringmaster barely managed to roll to the side before the bucket of water was emptied over Phillip’s head. And it was first then he noticed a smaller group of the circus artists had gathered around, not close enough to be crowded. All of them with worry for their friend in their eyes.  
  
With a spluttering gasp followed by hoarse coughing Phillip woke. Looking frantically at his surroundings as he grabbed onto what was closest to him. Barnum watched and was just as quick to hold onto his friend, trying to give him a sense of grounding.  
  
“A-Anne! Where- Where am i? Where’s Anne?!” Phillip was shivering, both form the cold water and the toll and panic the nightmare had brought him. He clung to Barnum as if he were the only thing that kept him from falling back into the hell he just woke up form.  
  
“You’re at the circus, Phillip. You were having a night terror, everything is fine now. You’re safe, son.” Barnum made sure to be as soft and calm in his speech, not wanting to startle or scare the man more.  
  
“And Anne is fine. She’s just outside in the circus ring. Lettie will go and get her,” he looked at Lettie who gave a nod and started walking. But she couldn’t even make it two steps before a voice called out from behind the other circus artists.  
  
Anne had been seated in the hula-hoop up under the ceiling of the circus when she first noticed some of her friends walk towards the backstage. But it wasn’t before the echoing of screams could be heard that she reacted. She had shouted to W. D. to get her down and as soon as she was in a jumping-safe-height she was on the ground and in full sprint towards the backstage.  
  
She had heard his screams becoming more tormented until they stopped all together, making her heart sink. The cry out for Phillip had been ignored the first round but by the time she had caught up to her friends she could feel her heart about to stop beating and tears pressing on in her eyes, fearing the worst.  
  
Anne pushed her way through her friends and took in the scene. First Lettie with the empty bucket and then to Barnum and Phillip. She could feel her chest cave in as she saw the fear in Phillip’s eyes and his whole body tremble along with it. She was quickly by his side and both her and Barnum could see visible tension bleed form Phillips body.  
  
“I found him here, sleeping. Having a nightmare. He was twisting, an-and turning and screaming, it looked like he was in pain- I didn’t know what to do other than wake him up!” It was first now Barnum could feel how quick his heart was racing, how he’d almost could feel his eyes grow wetter out of the worry for Phillip. The younger man let go of Barnum in favor of seeking Anne out.  
  
She was on her knees next to Phillip and didn’t offer Barnum an explanation to what just had happened. She didn’t want to tell him that this wasn’t the first time it happened. That she had grown used to waking up to Phillip gasping and screaming in his tortured sleep. And it was always the same dream that haunted him. Anne had never felt more powerless than not being able to help Phillip every time he would scream himself awake.  
  
The trapeze artist was brought out of her train of thought by Phillip’s hands on her, touching her cheek, shoulder and arms. She knew he was checking if she was injured, if the nightmare had become a reality. With gentle hands she grabbed hold of Phillip’s searching hands and held him still. Neither of them noticing Barnum pulling away and turning to the other circus artists telling them to head back to the ring to leave the young couple alone.  
  
“Phillip, I’m here. I’m okay. Everything is okay. Nothing can hurt us,” she spoke so softly it was barely audible for anyone else but Phillip. She caressed both of his cheeks softly before running a hand through his wet and messy hair. Trying to soothe her boyfriend to the best of her abilities.  
  
“You’re here.. You’re alright,” Phillip repeated, anything else in his world had been forgotten and he could only focus on Anne’s face right now. The shivering of his body, the still pounding heart and the phantom pain form the fire, none of it mattered now that Anne was safely with him. He squeezed his eyes shut as he leaned closer to her and rested his head on her chest. Sighing upon feeling her hands stroke through his hair giving him the much needed comfort.  
  
“It felt so real, Anne. Everyone was… The flames.. It was everywhere,” he whispered, voice almost sore and breaking up upon reliving the dream as he spoke about it. He’d seen what he now considered his family go up in flames. Everyone. The image of Anne on fire flashed through his mind and he gripped tightly around her, grounding himself as if his life depended on it.  
  
“I know, sweetheart. It was just a dream. It can’t hurt you now, you’re safe with me,” Anne whispered as she pulled him closer, still running her fingers through his hair. She could feel more tension bleed out of him as he relaxed with her comfort, giving her hope that he would be okay for today.  
  
Anne closed her eyes letting a comfortable silence fall between them as Phillip tried to collect himself again. Even if she knew that the man she loved was safe she could feel tears pressing on. She blamed herself for his nightly terrors and with every sleepless night her heart broke more and more. She knew that if he hadn’t run into the fire to find her he wouldn’t be tormented like this.  
  
Her spiral of guilty thoughts was broken when a shadow was cast over the two of them. She could feel Phillip tense up for just a moment before both of them looked at what had caused it. A relived smile appeared as it was Barnum standing there looking at the two of them with a worried smile. He didn’t say anything, worried he’d break the magical silence, but he pulled out quite possibly the softest and biggest blanket any of them had seen before. It was most likely Lettie who had suffered the loss of a blanket but with Phillip shivering like a leaf it was sure that she wouldn’t mind. Barnum draped the blanket around the young couple, earning a heartfelt thanking look form the both of them before he returned to the ring of the circus.  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me you were tired, Phillip. I would have followed you back home and stayed with you,” Anne was the one to break the silence between them. She didn’t sound angry or upset, more concerned and confused to why Phillip would take a nap on some costumes instead of coming to get her.  
  
“I thought I would be okay. I believed I could get through the day. But I just… Got sleepy, I guess. And a nap just happened,” he spoke quietly, as if he were sharing a secret or ashamed of what happened.  
  
“I’m just… So tired, Anne. I’m scared to sleep most nights. I had no idea this would get so out of control,” Phillip almost sounded apologetic now, and Anne could almost feel her heart break by it. The poor man felt sorry something not in his power and Anne could do close to nothing to stop it.  
  
“Don’t you dare sound sorry, Phillip. It’s not your fault nor should you apologize for it,” Anne sighed and pulled Phillip closer, as if she was still trying to keep him warm even if his shivering had started to die down.  
  
“You can always come to me, you know that-“ she started her lecture, and pushed some of his damp hair away form his face before her hand came down to rest on his cheek. “-And I know that the last weeks have been rough. But I promise you, it’ll be okay again. You got this entire new family that’ll look after you now. And I’m pretty sure Barnum is ready to adopt you if you asked nicely.” She chuckled a little, even if it was meant to be a joke it was far too much truth behind the words. Everyone in the circus knew how welcome they always would be with Barnum.  
  
“And, of course, you have me. Night and day. Good days and bad days. And I’m right here with you, and we’re going to get through this. Even if it means never sleeping again for either of us,” she spoke so softly but straight from her heart. She glanced down at him only to find him already looking at her with eyes filled of admiration. With every word she said she had failed to notice the calming down of Phillip and he almost looked sleepy again.  
  
“I am truly the luckiest man in the world. Because I have you by my side, Anne Wheeler,” he said, never taking his gaze off her. He snuck a hand out form the blanket to place on Anne’s cheek before he leaned in for a short but sweet kiss. It left them both grinning and finally a sense of peace fell over them.  
  
“Do you think W.D and Barnum can handle the rest of the rehearsals without us?” Phillip asked, sounding more like himself now. He didn’t see anything wrong for the two of them to just stay where they were, hidden between the props and clothing, as if they were the only people in the world. The question earned a heartfelt and soft laugh from Anne as she easily interlocked their fingers together under the blanket.  
  
“I’m sure Barnum can take my spot in the trapeze. I don’t see any way that can go wrong. I’m sure W.D will have a fun time,” Anne laughed shortly again at the image of Barnum swaying form the trapeze. The laugh died a little after also imagining Barnum wearing her costume for the shows. She decided it was best for them all if the imagine wasn’t shared.  
  
“Though, I’m sure we can hide here for a few more moments. I think Lettie will have someone’s head if they attempt to disturb us.” Anne added as she pulled the blanket tighter around them. She watched as Phillips eyelids grew heavier and heavier and she gently ran her hand through his hair, knowing just how much he loved the feeling.  
  
“That’s good. I think… I’d like to stay here,” Phillip slurred his words as his eyes fell shut. Anne’s fingers in his hair never sopped comforting him as he rested his head on her chest again. He was warm, comfortable and now also secure curled up in Anne’s arms. For the first time, in what felt like years, he finally felt safe enough to fall asleep without fearing nightmares. Knowing that nothing could happen to him in Anne’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Wanna scream at us??? find us at:  
> Niryda - [TGS blog!](https://the-circus-princess.tumblr.com/)  
> Forsty - [TGS blog!](https://circusprince.tumblr.com/)


End file.
